Relationships: the most common ... - Saving Your Marriage

A foundation stone of all good relationships is the way in which people express themselves and the listening experience they give to each other.

We live in a world that?s really sophisticated, quick moving, challenging and demanding. It is living within this world that a marriage and committed relationship becomes a most important source for people to seek deep meaning and happiness.

The most common problem couples in trouble identify is communication breakdown. Couples often invest great energy into repeating destructive ways of relating. It is the main reason why so many relationships risk failure.

The secret to good communication is to have a look at yourself first. Confronting our own issues is a difficult and challenging task and not one that is easily embarked on. Problems within a relationship sometimes begin when people resist stepping back and taking a long look at themselves and the part they play.

A major mistake made by the individual listening is to assume that their role is one of being passive. What leads to a good interaction is for the listener to be active in the listening process. It?s the listeners role to try the speaker feels that what they are saying is indeed being listened to and understood.

The frequent mistake that people make when talking with their partner is to expect the words that flow from their mouths to actually do the work for them. Words alone nevertheless are insufficient.

Consider a marketing campaign for the sale of a product like cereal. If the product you purchase were wrapped in packaging that is colourless and without any suggestion of health and flavour, you most probably would not purchase that product. The words you speak are similar; you have to package and present your words and ideas in a way that captures the notice of the person you are speaking to.

It is vital that couples allow for the time to talk and listen with one another about the problems they each face in life. In the situation where neither individual is talking, there is no way of dealing with the issues or stopping the situation from worsening.

Should one individual refuse to chat about matters or worry for the other, the danger is that either or both people eventually reach the point where the relationship won?t be adequately gratifying and nourishing for them. A couple will always need the fundamental relationship skill of communication.

Chris Dawson is a highly qualified marriage counselling expert, helping couples resolve relationship issues. His in depth expertise, of over 25 years experience, is highly sort after across the world in his position as Clinical Director for Humaneed, a leading Marriage and Relationship Counselling Service based in Australia.

Source: http://savingyourmarriage.us/uncategorized/relationships-the-most-common-communication-mistakes-make

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