Self-Improvement-There Is A Secret Equation That Guarantees ...

For the majority of folks, the road to individual transformation and self-improvement is a long and winding path filled with complicated barriers. Pharmaceutical companies in particular have capitalized on and created enormous fortunes based on the elusive search for the ?Magic Pill? that will make all of your dreams come true. As it turns out, there is a secret formula for success, and it begins in the unconscious mind.

One of the rules of NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) is that ?there is a positive intention behind all behaviors.? And based on that rule, when it comes to eliminating negative behaviors, there is a formula that we must always keep in mind. I?ll let you in on the secret in a minute. But I have a riddle for you to solve first.

Riddle: A holy man made his son drink lye, which burned out his voice box. What was the positive intention behind this action?

If you are like 99.9% of the clients who have visited my office since 1978, you?ll exclaim something like: ?There?s no positive intention behind that behavior.? But you would be totally wrong. To answer this riddle, you have to disconnect the behavior from the positive goal of the behavior.

The preacher?s son was cursing. And the preacher believes that if a child curses, his soul will be condemned to Hell. So the answer is that the preacher was burning out his son?s voice box so that he couldn?t curse. By doing so, he was saving his child?s soul from being destined to suffer in Hell.

The secret formula for successful personal change uses NLP and works as follows:

We should always respect the positive intent that motivates each behavior. If we have a compulsion to engage in a behavior that we don?t like, we can easily get rid of the impulse to use that behavior. All we need to do is to find another behavior and substitute it in its place. To be successful, the new behavior must be as available and effective at accomplishing the same secondary gain, but be more consciously acceptable. We call this a REFRAME.

When clients come into my office, the first thing I do is to take a careful case history. Let?s pretend that they come in and ask me to help them eliminate their appetite. Conventional wisdom tells us that the two main reasons that anyone eats too much food are: (1) to tranquilize themselves; (2) because eating can be a conditioned response. Case in point, if a person eats while they are talk on the phone, they will develop a conditioned response, and thereafter, every time they talk on the phone they will get a craving for food.

However, the above answer only takes into consideration the possible positive intention behind the behavior of eating. What if they also have another behavior that is concerned in the equation? For instance: What if being heavy is also a behavior for this person? I can hear your mind working away right now as you think, ?Being obease isn?t a behavior, what are you talking about??

Sorry but you could be absolutely incorrect. Here is one classic textbook example that will illustrate the fact that being overweight can be a behavior. It can be a behavior because it can supply secondary gains.

Example: A woman is in love. Her boyfriend leaves her, and her heart is broken. Her subconscious mind wants to shield her emotionally and stop her from ever having her heart broken again. So it motivates her to get obease to keep her out of relationships. Because if she isn?t in a relationship she won?t get her heart broken again.

Everyone is totally different. And sometimes there are unconscious elements at work that cause compulsive behaviors. These are elements that are different for each person.

Here?s another example: A woman comes to my practice complaining of an uncontrollable urge to eat way too much at mealtime. During the case history, the woman tells me about how she was never able to please her dad.

During an age regression, we learned that one of her earliest memories was of having a meal with the family. And dad was insisting in an authoritive voice that she finish all of the food on her plate, even though she was bursting. So she ate the food left on her plate out of fear, and her dad praised her for eating all of the food. It was one of the only times in her life that she could recall her dad telling her that he was happy with her.

Shoot forward to the present. Her dad has been deceased for many years, but the unconscious program he installed is still at work. She still has an urge to eat all of the food on her plate, even if she is feeling stuffed, because by cleaning the plate, in her subconscious she is getting her dad?s approval, and eliminating her fear!

So if you find it difficult to make personal changes, please remember that there is a positive intention that causes all behaviors. And the secret formula for successful change is to use a different behavior that will accomplish the same positive intention, but in a mode that is more consciously acceptable to you, as an individual. The most efficient way to get your subconscious to assume the responsibility for making this kind of change for you is through an NLP Six-Step Reframe.

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